?????????我???為???何???發???現???他???們???倆???有???與???眾???不???同???的???情???誼???，???是???因???為???我???曾???見???過???一???次???，???也???是???唯???一???一???次???，???就???是???在???以???列???哥???成???婚???的???前???一???日???，???以???列???哥???不???知???為???何???買???醉???，???結???果???他???在???以???為???并???無???旁???人???的???時???候???吻???了???兄???長???。

        ?????????那???時???我???才???驚???覺???原???來???以???列???哥???喜???歡???的???是???兄???長???。???在???那???之???前???，???我???就???和???其???他???人???所???想???相???差???無???幾──???他???們???只???是???感???情???特???好???的???結???交???兄???弟???。

        ?????????在???以???列???哥???成???婚???之???後???，???他???們???倆???便???再???無???出???現???任???何???親???昵???之???舉???，???旁???人???看???來???他???們???依???舊???是???親???如???手???足???，???可???是???我???卻???無???法???這???樣???看???待──???這???樣???該???有???多???苦???，???我???多???少???有???所???感???悟???。

        ?????????你???喜???歡???一???個???人???，???可???你???永???遠???不???能???讓???旁???人???知???道???。

        ?????????我???僅???有???一???點???慶???幸???，???我???從???未???告???訴???兄???長???自???己???對???以???列???哥???的???在???意???，???否???則???那???對???他???們???兩???人???又???是???另???一???種???折???磨???，???對???我???自???己???也???是???。

        ?????????發???愣???了???好???半???晌???，???已???是???不???知???不???覺???深???夜???來???臨???，???我???站???起???身???走???到???柜???前???，???索???然???無???味???地???環???掃???柜???上???書???冊???，???隨???意???cH0U???出???一???本???，???見???了???封???面???才???發???覺???這???是???兄???長???寫???的???《???策???論???》???。???我???曾???看???過???前???半???部???，???只???是???不???知???後???半???部???寫???好???了???沒???。

        ?????????直???接???翻???至???後???半???冊???，???娟???秀???端???正???的???字???跡???映???入???眼???簾???，???兄???長???果???然???早???已???寫???好???。???但???後???半???部???份???并???非???領???兵???概???略???，???而???是???治???國???根???本???，???細???細???列???出???舉???才???用???賢???之???道???，???甚???至???觸???及???統???籌???g0ng???內???、???旁???系???親???族???之???分???派???安???撫???等???等???。???這???些???非???空???口???白???談???，???他???引???用???了???前???太???朝???滅???國???之???例???，???還???有???現???今???諸???國???之???律???法???為???準???，???加???以???修???改???寫???下???諫???言???。

        ?????????兄???長???連???這???些???都???先???準???備???好???，???就???是???為???了???助???以???列???哥???日???後???霸???業???有???成???時???能???盡???早???讓???國???家???步???入???正???軌???。

        ?????????我???不???禁???將???視???線???轉???到???那???方???案???桌???，???腦???中???浮???現???兄???長???深???夜???獨???自???提???筆???疾???書???的???模???樣???。

        ?????????回???過???頭???又???翻???了???翻???，???最???後???一???篇???關???於???土???地???及???稅???收???制???度???尚???未???寫???齊???。???於???是???我???cH0U???了???柜???上???兩???本???撰???述???歷???代???土???地???分???封???及???稅???收???加???給???的???書???冊???，???坐???回???桌???前???細???細???翻???閱???。

        ?????????兄???長???未???能???完???成???的???，???便???是???我???的???職???責???所???在???。???或???許???不???能???寫???得???詳???盡???，???但???在???我???離???開???後???能???留???個???依???據???也???好???。

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